Mafumafu
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Join date : 2015-09-25
Age : 24
 | | Subject: Moon Jun-hee Sun Aug 02, 2020 3:39 am | |
| JUN
"The memories that become overcast within the sunset, they all melt into the sky without a single cloud."
First name: Jun-hee
Nickname: Jun
Surname: Moon
Age: 23
Birthday: 04-08
Gender: Male
LOOKS
Hairstyle: Short, usually pulled back, a little bit messy for the aesthetic
Hair Color: Bluish purple
Eye Color: Blue
Body Type: Tall, muscular
Clothing Style: Fashionable but avoids a feminine direction
Description: Having played baseball since middleschool and generally being an active person, Jun has a very sturdy body. His muscles are well defined, although he doesn't intentionally work towards a six-pack. He simply trains regularly to keep in shape for baseball. He's secretly obsessed with fashion, but uses his knowledge to make sure no one gets any "wrong" ideas about him. Hoodies, pants never too tight, black and intense colors, he quite likes jackets with typically japanese or chinese pattern too. Makes him feel like a part of the Yakuza. And although he enjoys wearing these clothes, the most himself you'll ever see him as is when he's wearing his baseball uniform. He's always kept his hair short for the club and likes to pull it back or pin it up, but keeps it a little messy since it looks hot. His hair and eyes are both blue, but his hair goes in a lighter purple direction while his eyes have quite an intense shade. He has a beauty mark under his right eye. His tongue is pierced, as well as his ears. More often than not you will see his pretty face covered with bandages, as well as any other part of his body really. He doesn't really have many lasting scars, but he collects fresh wounds like they're trophies. On the back of his neck you can see a tattoo starting which stretches over his back. Although he has an intimidating appearence, his softness sometimes comes through when he smiles, it's very bright and kind, almost unfitting compared to the rest of his body.
- color edition:
CHARACTER
Attributes: Hot tempered, emotional, either totally aloof or having an existential crisis, secretly nerdy, caring
Likes: Character design, Ayumikurikamaki, fashion
Dislikes: His mother, authority
Goals: a degree maybe, he doesn't have a plan
Fears: That his mother won't forgive him
Characterization: At first glance Jun seems intimidating. The type of guy who gets into fights, who has a school record so terrible it's a mystery how he was admitted to university. How he behaves depends highly on his environment, if it's the guys he usually hangs out with he comes across as tough with a short temper. He did always have a more emotional than rational response. He's always been quick to cry and the type who would feel three times as strongly about something than anyone else would. That he still is, but he would never show it. In his usual classes he is more relaxed, since he's surrounded by mostly nerds he doesn't feel as on edge, although he is still hard to approach because of his appearence. Some people have learned that he is quite friendly and not as judgemental as they thought he'd be. After all he is a bit of a nerd himself, devoted to a girl group he worships. They are essentially the reason he started drawing, but he realized that it's quite fun and got really good at it, although he gets bored with environments and prefers drawing cute girls (mainly because he doesn't like how people react to cutesy male characters, if he could he'd draw everyone in pink skirts). His own perception of masculinity hinders him from doing what he likes and he keeps many secrets from people just to not be seen gay. He also has a hard time admitting to his sexuality even in his own thoughts, explaining many things with admiration and "well he kind of looks like a girl". While not necessarily smart, he's good at studying and dedicated.
Traits: -
PRESENT
Social Status: Infamous for being bad news
Occupation: Student, works part time
Family: Parents and grandmother
Relationship Status: Single
Place of Residence: Chronos
Past
- Past:
Moon Jun-hee, 13 years old, an average looking boy with the highest grades in his class. Although the color of his eyes sticks out, he keeps his head down and attracts no attention. In the baseball club of his middle school he functions as a bench warmer.
It doesn’t bother him, after all he just started playing. It doesn’t bother him, after all the other members don’t ignore him and he has someone to talk to, someone to eat lunch with.
That’s probably what you’d call friends. In grade school he had nobody who wanted to do that stuff with him. He figured that joining the club with the most members was the easiest way to find friends.
Still the first years didn’t have much to do, especially with his scrawny arms he felt embarrassed when he tried swinging the bat or throwing a ball.
“At least I’m good at running I guess.” Jun mumbled and pulled his hat further down.
“Even that is surprising, seeing how you’re smaller than everyone else.” Another boy, two years older than him, sat down on the bench next to him and sighed, relieved to get away from the sun. He was drenched in sweat and for a moment his eyes followed a sweat pearl rolling down his neck.
“I’m still growing!” Jun started pouting and looked angry, forgetting that he should be more respectful towards his upperclassmen. Especially Daichi, one of the best players in the club. He got nervous barely a second after saying that and was a little surprised when Daichi started laughing.
“I’m sure you’ll be a great player when you’ve grown up.”
“But I’m terrible. I can’t do anything that’s important.”
“I don’t think that’s true. You just need some training. And you’re great at catching, you know where the ball is gonna end up and you keep your eyes on it. You might wanna pay some more attention to the others though.” The older boy looked at him with a grin. Jun’s cheeks instantly turned red when he turned his head around to look at him and got caught by his eyes. A soft green, reminding him of spring.
“Tell you what, stay here after you’re done changing and wait for me.” Daichi didn’t give him the time to respond, he ran back to the field and left Jun flustered. He was terribly nervous about whatever the older boy had planned. He still wasn’t used to talking to others and Daichi exuded more confidence than anyone he knew.
“Did you run in grade school, Jun?”
Daichi in his uniform was a different kind of sight to behold. He wore it casually, looked effortlessly cool. Though maybe that was just Jun’s admiration for the older boy speaking.
“No, I went home.”
“Ahh, I bet you’re the type that would play games all day.”
“Only in secret. My parents wanted me to study.” They were walking on a main street for a while before they turned into a side street that looked pretty shady.
“Where exactly are we going?” He never went to places like that on his own or even with his parents. They’re the types to go to big, fancy restaurant in the city, not small places like that.
“You’ll see, you’ll see.” Jun’s heart raced faster and faster before they were finally inside and he saw a smoking man reading a magazine. While he was looking around Daichi payed for them and took the confused Jun inside.
“A.. batting center?” There were some other students playing inside. He was never inside a place like that before. It felt exciting for some reason.
“Yeah, go ahead. You can play on your own, there’s no one you need to care about. Don’t have to be embarrassed playing here, right?” Daichi had this friendly smile on his face, talking like it was no big deal.
But Jun felt like he was going to cry. That guy figured him out so easily, was so nice to him without expecting anything in return.
“You really are an angel…”
“Huh?”
Jun quickly rubbed his eyes and then smiled brightly.
That day Daichi started giving him tips for his posture and his swing. On other days they went to a field of grass and practiced to catch and throw. He had no idea why Daichi was putting up with a first year and he didn’t know how to express his gratitude, but he always made sure to buy something to drink for him or a snack when they went home.
“Jun? Is that you?” He flinched when he heard his mother's voice after closing his door behind him as quietly as possible. Today they were playing so long that it was already dark when he arrived home and of course the stern face of his mother was already waiting for him.
“I’m sorry mom… I was helping out at the club and I forgot about the time…”
“You’re coming home late a lot lately. I told you, you can only join the club if it wouldn’t cut into your time to study. You’re not actually getting serious about baseball, are you?” Jun couldn’t look her in the eyes, he wasn’t good at that in general, but especially in these moments he’d look anywhere but in her direction.
“No, it’s just.. fun and I’m becoming friend with everyone at the club…”
“Friends? What use are they when you start failing school? Are they going to pay your rent, your medical bills? Are your friends going to help you then?” The woman sighed and knelt down to look directly at her son.
“You know you can only play baseball casually. Those who get serious about sports are good for nothings, they’re the ones who end up begging. They’re useless to society. You’re not like that, Jun. You’re a smart boy. You’ll work hard, won’t you?”
“Yes, mom.”
It wasn’t as if he believed that he’d become a proper part of the team. That he’d play in actual matches. But it was really fun. And he didn’t want to disappoint Daichi, who put so much care into his training. He wanted to get better for Daichi. But he didn’t have much time to study and even when he got home his head was filled with baseball. He’d go batting on the weekends and hang out with his club members during breaks at school.
“Why you pouting, Jun?” When he heard the familiar voice he almost jumped, his cheeks became red so quickly he felt embarrassed just feeling that heat.
“Woah, you’ve got a B in math? I didn’t know you’re so smart. I feel betrayed somehow.”
Jun smiled for a second, it was nice to have him there. But he couldn’t keep that smile up for too long.
“Usually I get A’s. Math isn’t hard to learn after all. I could maybe talk my way out of english, but math has always been my easiest subject.” He dropped his head on his knees and groaned.
Daichi looked at him for a bit, his brow furrowed.
“You know, if the club takes too much of your time away…”
“No! Anything but that!” Jun interrupted him so quickly it startled the older boy.
“I- I really love playing baseball. It’s so much fun. I want to play more with everyone. And… with you. I want to play more. I really don’t want to quit.”
Daichi smiled at that earnest response.
“You want to go somewhere after school? I wanna show you something.”
Instead of going to the city or the field nearby the school, he was on Daichi’s bike and they were driving along the coast. He didn’t know where to put his hands, but he was scared of falling off, so he wrapped his arms around him, earning him a comment that people would think they’re lovers which caused his face to burn up and him to stutter gibberish. That of course amused Daichi.
When they arrived the sun was already setting, but he understood what Daichi wanted to show him right away. The sun edging on the ocean was turning the sky into a bleeding pink, it almost felt like the world was about to fall apart. And that put him at ease.
“You know, Jun. I didn’t start coaching you because I’m some great person.” Jun was surprised to hear Daichi talk about himself. The boy with the carefree smile never seemed worried about anything. But in that moment his expression was so sorrowful that his heart ached.
“The day when I took you to the batting center I just felt like shit. I didn’t wanna go home, so I kidnapped our first year and forced him to spend time with me for a few hours.” He seemed apologetic and Jun wanted to disagree with him right away, but when he noticed that the boy had more to say he quickly shut his mouth.
“I did end up enjoy it though, I like teaching you. Makes me feel better, less like a piece of shit. And you’re honest and nice. Stay the way you are, Jun, alright? Don’t let this messed up world change you.”
The younger boy nodded. He didn’t know what to say anymore. He wished he could do something to make whatever makes him so sad disappear. But he didn’t know what to do. At all.
“I’ll be moving to another city. I’m forced to, of course, but I guess I’m lucky. They’ve got a pretty famous college team. And their high school team isn’t half bad either. I just… would have liked to watch you play a little longer. You’re already better than most second years. You’ll definitely be playing in games by next year, so keep it up.” When Daichi looked down he was still smiling, but when he saw the tears rolling down Jun’s cheeks it disappeared right away.
“Hey, are you crying? Come on, it’s no big deal. You don’t need me to keep playing.”
“Daichi, you’re an idiot!” Jun shouted inbetween his sobs.
“Everyone… everyone cares so much about you! Everyone looks up to you, because they want to play like you and because you’re nice to everyone and you’re always smiling. You’re so important to everyone. But you’re talking like you don’t matter! You idiot!”
There were so many tears staring to come out that he had to constantly wipe over his face. Daichi looked down at him with half closed eyes and put his hand on his head.
“I’m sorry.” The older boy apologized quietly and let Jun cry.
Daichi took Jun home on his bike. The stars were clearly visible that night. They didn’t exchange another word, until Daichi dropped him off and both quietly said goodbye.
Of course Jun was aware that he would only get to play with this year. But he was planning on going to the same high school as him in two years. He wanted to meet him one more time and be in an actual match together. Even if it was just one year, he wanted to see that version of him so badly. And that chance was ripped away from him.
“Hah, mom is going to get angry.”
“You want to go to what school?” The moment the woman started speaking her voice got shrill.
“Jun, that school is ages away. Do you want to commute every day?”
“I- I could move in with grandma! She lives in that city.”
“Even if you’d do that, I don’t understand why. That school is garbage, it has nothing to offer for your future.”
“But, I’ll go study medicine there mom! I promise, so just let me-”
“You want to continue playing baseball, don’t you? You actually think you have a chance to make it? The high school here has a baseball team too, why do you have to go there? I’ve already allowed you to play, I let so much slide by! Why do you have to take it even further?!” The woman started screaming and he couldn’t do much more than press his eyes shut. When she stopped he slowly opened them again, breathed in and looked directly in her eyes.
“I’ve already decided.”
His mother breathed in sharply. She stared at her son, but he wouldn’t even flinch.
“If you leave this house I never want you to set foot in it again. You’ll be on your own.”
Jun was running up a hill, past all those other students. He was sure that he spotted him. When he grabbed the arm of a guy in a uniform he quickly looked up to see his eyes. A soft green, reminding him of spring.
“Ah, Daichi. What a coincidence.” He was silent at first, blinking a few times and then burst out laughing.
“You’re insane, Jun. Actually insane. You ran all the way up just to announce yourself like that?”
Although three years have passed, when they were standing next to each other, both much bigger than before, Daichi having grown into a man already, they were laughing just like they used to and Jun has never felt so relieved before.
“You actually look like a proper baseball player now. You look much older than most first years, you know? You’ll totally stand out.”
“Well, at least I don’t look like a stick anymore.”
“Oh you looked cute though.”
“Gross.”
The past few years Jun has trained harder than anyone to catch up. He didn’t want to risk not being able to play in a match after going through all that. But it did pay off. His shoulders were broad, his muscles defined, his face had hardened. And he was way beyond the other players in his grade, he was at least the level of the other third years and it quickly earned him a reputation. Truly he couldn’t care less about what other people thought of him though, he was just so glad to finally see Daichi again. Certainly his grades dropped after escaping his mother's watchful eye, but he was still a little better than average. He wanted to make sure he’d get into college and part of him wanted to satisfy his mother. He didn’t want to be useless, wanted to get a proper job. It wasn’t easy to manage, but seeing Daichi everyday filled him with so much energy he felt like he could take on anything.
Even though at times Daichi was different than he used to be.
It made sense, he didn’t expect him to stay the same, but as much as he tried to ignore it he couldn't help but notice how his smile seemed more like a mask than the earnest one he remembered so well. There were walls surrounding him. And Jun wondered where they came from. But he hasn’t changed. He still didn’t have the courage to ask.
“Come on, Jun. The third years don’t wanna help us. And you look strong, you could totally knock someone out.” A few second years were surrounding the younger boy, who was very obviously uncomfortable.
“I’m telling you guys I never had a fight with anyone before. I wouldn’t know what to do, I’d just drag you down. And you could seriously get into trouble for doing this.”
“I guess that’s true. Your face looks too nice for that stuff anyway. Let’s go, guys.” They finally gave up on him and left him alone. Last thing he’d want is for his school to call his grandmother, he didn’t want to disappoint her the way he disappointed his mother.
“Ah, Daichi!” Jun was asking around where the boy was for a while and finally found him behind the building, cigarette in hand, staring at something far away.
“Oh, Jun.” He looked at the younger boy for a second, but didn’t bother smiling.
“Want a smoke?” Daichi gave him his pack of cigarettes. Jun looked at it, unsure if he should really take one, but with Daichi’s eyes on him he hesitantly pulled one out and lit it up with the lighter the older boy held in his direction.
As expected from someone who had no idea what he was doing Jun started coughing right away, but at least that made Daichi laugh. Even though there was still a shadow over his eyes.
“It’s gross, right? But I can’t get through school without one anymore.”
“So, um, Daichi… I was wondering if you’d want to stay a little longer today. After school. So we could train for the match. I’m really excited for it you know. I’ve been wanting to play together for so long. I really want to show you how much I improved.” Jun’s cheeks got pink while talking. He was really excited for the game and it was so clearly visible. His eyes sparkled with joy whenever he talked about baseball. Daichi noticed that. Jun really hasn’t changed at all.
“Sorry, today might not work out. I’ve gotta work.” Jun seemed so sad right away that it made Daichi smile and pat his head before walking away.
“Daichi, do you have time today-”
“Hey, Daichi, do you want to play today? Just a little bit!”
“Maybe we could play during our break?”
“Stop pestering me, will you!?”
Jun abruptly stopped when Daichi suddenly shouted at him. He’d never seen the older boy like that. Even when he was in a bad mood his face was always calm. But in that moment every muscle on his face screamed anger.
“Seriously, can’t you read the room at all? Why would you constantly ask me to train with you when you’re obviously better than me? Are you trying to mock me? Is it fun to show me that you’ve become much better than me, that I haven’t put any work into it at all?”
Other students were looking at them, but Jun didn’t even notice them. He was pressing his hands against his chest, he was shaking.
He wanted to apologize, but he didn’t understand at all. He wanted to protest, but he didn’t want him to get ever angrier.
Silence stretched between them until Daichi turned away and quickly disappeared.
“Did you hear? Apparently some students are picking a fight with students from another school.”
“Those second years, right? They’re always causing trouble. Oh, but wasn’t a third year with them?”
“For real? You’d think they’re at least a little more mature than that.”
Jun straightened his back when he heard the girls chatter after class.
I’m sure it’s not him. Daichi wouldn’t do these things.
But somehow he just couldn’t shake the feeling.
“The hell- Jun, what are you doing here?!”
“Keeping your dumbass from getting hurt, obviously!” Jun just so managed to hiss that at Daichi before pushing him aside and taking a punch directly against his face. He stumbled back a little, shook his head, some blood from his nose dropping on the ground. It was just mindless punching, he didn’t care when he was hurt, he didn’t care if he was bleeding, he simply returned the favor again and again until it was over.
He felt dizzy, wasn’t quite aware of what was happening, he just knew that he was leaning against Daichi.
“You’re such an idiot, Jun. You’ve always been. Always running after me mindlessly. I never understood why you liked me so damn much.” He gave Jun a tissue to press against his nose.
“It’s cause you’re stupid. You never understood. Could never tell how much people cared for you. Your brain is just filled with muscles. Should have studied more instead of playing.” Jun was mumbling, half aware of what he was saying, but he was slowly returning to the present. Daichi chuckled a little hearing Jun speak with so little care for once.
“I’m going to quit baseball, Jun.”
“What?”
“I’m done. There’s no point in continuing. I don’t have the energy to get better and it doesn’t distract me anymore either.”
“But- maybe it’s going to be fun again. Maybe it’s going to be like in middle school again.”
Daichi’s smile was so exhausted. He knew he couldn’t keep it up much longer, but he refused to accept it. He refused to lose his Daichi.
“You just make it more difficult. Why the hell are you so obsessed with me, Jun? I mean do you know how fucking creepy it is that you followed me all the way to another city? For what?”
I just… wanted to play with you again.
“Because I was nice to you once? Can’t you tell that I’m not that person anymore? How much I have to force myself to smile, how much I hate that you still know and remember that old version of myself. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand that I can still see that person when I look at you. You just remind me how much of a piece of shit I’ve become.”
“Will you ever shut the fuck up?!” The fabric of the collar Jun grabbed looked like it was about to tear in his hands. Now, that’s who Daichi wanted to see. The new Jun. The one that’s just as much of a piece of shit as he is.
“You always ask me why, you fucking idiot. Isn’t it fucking obvious.” He clicked his tongue and look away from the other boy.
“I love you, you piece of shit.”
“...”
“All I can do is hurt you, Jun.”
“...”
“Fine. It’ll be our first and last game, alright?”
I looked at him for just a moment. I was to embarrassed to look much longer, but in that split second I saw his eyes. That pale green has never seemed colder.
After he left school, without so much as a goodbye, I couldn’t shake the habit of getting into fights. I guess these second years I started hanging out with would be at fault. But I found enjoyment in it. I invested my time into baseball, but I was suspended on a regular basis, my grades were terrible. After losing my reason to do my best, it was hard to find a new one. Everything seemed so very pointless. I was exhausted.
“Jun, is that you?” He flinched hearing these words, but when he saw his grandmother’s face he quickly calmed down.
“My, you’re hurt. Sit down in the living room dearest.” There was no use protesting, even though he could have taken care of it himself, so he went to the comfortable little living room.
He didn’t quite understand what got into him that day. The warmth felt so pleasant that when it hit his miserable little heart, he choked up. He wasn’t going to cry in front of his grandmother. And what’s the point in crying, he thought, he chose everything he did. There’s no point in regret.
“Jun?” He looked up, quickly rubbed over his eyes to get rid of the little tear that slipped out.
“You were always quick to cry, weren’t you.” The elderly woman started cleaning the wounds on his face with a smile.
“Your mother was worried you’d always be crying whenever something happened. Maybe that’s why she was so tough on you. I’m sure she’ll get over it someday. Although she is unbelievably stubborn, she’ll miss her son.”
“I’ll support you no matter what happens. You know that right? This will always be your home.”
Jun couldn’t help but start sobbing and crying big tears.
“But my grades are so bad. I’ll never have a good job.”
“That’s okay. You can do whatever you like. I know you’ll find your way. You’re a good person after all.”
The tears were burning on his wounds, but he couldn’t stop himself from crying.
“I’m not good at all. I’m terrible. I’m a disappointment.”
She gently put her hand on her grandson’s head and stroked his hair.
“Not at all, Jun. I love you more than anyone in the world. And growing up is tough, isn’t it? Even if you make mistakes, it’s okay, because you grow from them each day. You won’t notice now or maybe even longer, but you’re carefully growing. Like a little flower fighting through a cold spring. You’ll be okay my dear.”
I’ll be okay.
~ | |
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